As loved ones experience physical or cognitive decline, it is difficult for family caregivers to address the need for additional help in the home. Ideally, families should prepare for those needs before a crisis occurs. Planning a positive and productive family meeting can bring everyone up to speed on emerging issues, and prevent serious injury or health dangers from happening.
Below are our top SIX guidelines for meeting with siblings and loved ones.
- Evaluate your parent’s medical, physical, social, and mental health needs. Document medical reports and notes from physicians regarding conditions with treatment recommendations.
- Write down your daily caregiving routine so that other family members get a sense of what is involved. (personal care, assistance with household chores, medication)
- Identify your parent’s resources and monthly income. What can they financially afford? Do they have Long Term Care insurance?
- Invite your siblings to the meeting. The spouse of the family caregiver should be involved because his or her life is definitely affected by the caregiving situation. Your parent’s wishes must also be respected. If Mom or Dad is competent, he or she should be involved. Please note, oftentimes, the parent who needs caregiving assistance will not accept the idea of receiving help in the home. You may need to exclude them from the first meeting.
- Create an agenda. Call family members ahead of time and ask them the three most important things they would like to discuss at the meeting. You’ll find that many of you will share the same concerns. Determine among you who will facilitate this meeting—which includes organizing the agenda and keeping the discussion on task. Identify one family member to maintain clear written notes from the meeting.
- Determine a meeting place; set a specific time frame for the meeting. If a family member cannot attend in person, use Skype or a conference call.
It will probably feel a little strange for your family to act so formal with each other, but it is a safeguard from falling into old family patterns. Here are some tried-and-true strategies in productive group discussion:
- No interrupting! Wait until someone is finished talking.
- When you have something to say, it should reflect what you think, not what you think others think. So start the sentence with “I”.
- No accusations.
- Stay focused on your parent’s needs. Rally around what’s best for them.
- If you’re not clear on a point that someone else has said, ask that person to clarify it rather than assume something he or she didn’t mean.
- If you want to make sure you’ve interpreted what the other person has said, try this approach: “This is what I heard you say …. Is that correct?”
Some other areas to identify are:
- Who has Power of Attorney for Property/Finances? Power of Attorney for Health Care?
- Does your parent have Advance Health Care Directives?
- What Support role can each family member provide:
- Direct Care Provider (direct care provider)
- Household Assistance (shopping, cleaning, laundry)
- Financial – paying bills, reviewing bank accounts
- Emotional – supporting each other, listening objectively
- Respite – can family members provide care if primary caregiver is sick or needs a break.
If this seems like an overwhelming task for your family, seek professional help from a social worker or care manager who can assist you. Response Senior Care provides home care and care management services. Please let us know if we can help facilitate a meeting with your loved ones. We always hope to reduce family stress and offer top caregiving resources and options.
We can be reached at 410-571-2744. Happy to help!
